My tummy is a rumbly angry concoction of lemonade and water that is screaming out for food today. After the third day it's supposed to be smooth sailing but today I literally want to eat everything in sight, even cat food looks appealing. Thanks to Smooth Move I was awoken again last night with the most horrible cramps ever, ran to the toilet around 3 am and persisted to stay there until I was sure it was safe. Got the heating pad back out again and curled up in a little ball. I'm pretty tired. Mentally not physically though. I feel good health wise, but hungry none-the-less I'm pretty sure I was addicted to food. As I'm working through an emotional part of my life right now, I realize just how much I leaned on food to make me feel better, and fill that void. If I was bored... I would eat, watching tv.... I would eat, upset about something.... I would eat. Whether I was hungry or not I was packing my stomach with something that tasted good to make whatever I was going through seem not so bad. I would eat socially even though I wasn't hungry because everyone else was. If there was food on the plate I wanted it. It's funny because before I couldn't tell the difference between being hungry and being thirsty and got them both confused and most often shoved more food in my mouth when I should have been drinking water. I would put so much food in me I literally found it hard to breathe. This detox while difficult and challenging, has put so much of that into perspective. You don't need the massive portions our society is so accustomed to to be happy and feel good, small portions of any kind of food combined with healthy exercise is all it takes to keep from getting to where I was a week ago. I'm so glad I've started this and as much I want to quit I'm going to keep going. After I come off I'm going to try to stop using food and alcohol as a crutch to help me fight my emotional battles. Maybe we could all have that mentality. It would be healthy.
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