So last night after a few hours of sleep I awoke with the worst stomach/bowel cramps ever. And near 3 in the morning I raced for the ceramic throne destined to be mine for the next hour or so. As queen of my throne I sat grimacing, half ready to throw up from the horrible cramping. After fully expending the left overs (or so I thought) I heated up my lovie in the microwave and eased the cramping away with the gentle heat. But as I walked by the mirror... wait who was that super skinny chick? Oh snap it was me. I was half ready to give up last night, not knowing if the explosive shits was something a person of my royal stature should have to live through another night. But after seeing how well my shirt fit me again, I thought, ehhhh, what's 9 more days lol. The things women do to them selves to fit in their clothes again!!! LOL. So I woke up this morning still cramping a bit, but it could be my stomach shrinking again. I don't remember it being this bad last time. (I must have been really full of it lol). I have most of my energy though which feels great! And no headache at all! Yipeee. The kiddo was sitting outside having her version of a yard sale to make money for her horse she wants to purchase and as I sat watching her, I broke the Cardinal RULE!!! If you refer to my pre-cleanse blog, I mentioned not letting a "poof" "fart" "toot" or a "fluff" out for the ramifications were serious. Yeah, sitting there watching Kira play I forgot where I was for a bit. And casually let one go, suddenly I realized this was no simple "fluff" this was a massive expenditure of what remained in my bowels, I jump up screaming and run in the house while my daughter is chasing me in the house screaming too, "don't leave Miss! You're my only customer" it wasn't until I got in the restroom and finished the job on my throne once again that Kira realized something bigger than her yard sale was happening and she casually acquiesces herself out of the restroom. I immediately text my last friend still on the cleanse to fill her in on what had just happened and she hasn't even gone to the bathroom yet all day. :( Perhaps my nasty licorice laxative very UN-SMOOTH MOVE tea really does the job. I may just get my wish for no SWF (salt water flush) after-all if it keeps up at this pace. Hoping to just lay around and be lazy today, something tells me this is not an option but my tummy does seem rather upset. Staying strong for now, Will update with details this evening. 
Saturday, May 14, 2011
HOLY SHART!
So last night after a few hours of sleep I awoke with the worst stomach/bowel cramps ever. And near 3 in the morning I raced for the ceramic throne destined to be mine for the next hour or so. As queen of my throne I sat grimacing, half ready to throw up from the horrible cramping. After fully expending the left overs (or so I thought) I heated up my lovie in the microwave and eased the cramping away with the gentle heat. But as I walked by the mirror... wait who was that super skinny chick? Oh snap it was me. I was half ready to give up last night, not knowing if the explosive shits was something a person of my royal stature should have to live through another night. But after seeing how well my shirt fit me again, I thought, ehhhh, what's 9 more days lol. The things women do to them selves to fit in their clothes again!!! LOL. So I woke up this morning still cramping a bit, but it could be my stomach shrinking again. I don't remember it being this bad last time. (I must have been really full of it lol). I have most of my energy though which feels great! And no headache at all! Yipeee. The kiddo was sitting outside having her version of a yard sale to make money for her horse she wants to purchase and as I sat watching her, I broke the Cardinal RULE!!! If you refer to my pre-cleanse blog, I mentioned not letting a "poof" "fart" "toot" or a "fluff" out for the ramifications were serious. Yeah, sitting there watching Kira play I forgot where I was for a bit. And casually let one go, suddenly I realized this was no simple "fluff" this was a massive expenditure of what remained in my bowels, I jump up screaming and run in the house while my daughter is chasing me in the house screaming too, "don't leave Miss! You're my only customer" it wasn't until I got in the restroom and finished the job on my throne once again that Kira realized something bigger than her yard sale was happening and she casually acquiesces herself out of the restroom. I immediately text my last friend still on the cleanse to fill her in on what had just happened and she hasn't even gone to the bathroom yet all day. :( Perhaps my nasty licorice laxative very UN-SMOOTH MOVE tea really does the job. I may just get my wish for no SWF (salt water flush) after-all if it keeps up at this pace. Hoping to just lay around and be lazy today, something tells me this is not an option but my tummy does seem rather upset. Staying strong for now, Will update with details this evening. 
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